What was I doing again?

To be honest,

I’m having a tough time grasping the concept of “Time Management.”

I’ve been ironically using the phrase to pass off my bad excuse of
procrastination ever since I’ve heard it applied to my work, and I’m
trying to actually do something about it? Maybe??

These last two weeks I began Inktober, and that along with my
animation studies have led me to conclude that I absolutely
cannot handle all the things I put on my plate. I mean that literally
sometimes too. My workload, although how easy it seems, is
overshadowed by my raging need of constant distractions. I’ve lost
my light of focus and I don’t know where I dropped it. The caverns of
Netflix? The endless scroll of Instagram? Or maybe the fridge? Who
knows- I sure don’t. In the case of study, I did learn more of the inner
workings of Physics and its relations to animating figures. The wave
animation was a tricky one, yet not tough enough for me NOT to slam
dunk it. My graded piece is /super/ lackluster, which is why i’m definitely
gonna revamp it for my portfolio. Who do we show our portfolios to,
anyway? Colleges?

What I’d like to learn is what would be discovered in a deep soul search
within my psyche. “Why can i spend 8 hours doing nothing and strain
myself doing all my work after I’m supposed to be asleep?” The world
may never know, it seems. I would say I’m excited to learn about
Keyframing, but it’s just another tool to utilize in our journey. I’m “pumped”
to try my hand with the walk cycle, and i had a ton of ideas in mind, but
that’s likely going to be scrapped and saved for extra credit resources later.

I was frustrated with my laptop this week. The fan gave out halfway through,
meaning I was out of commission the entire weekend. That anticlimaticism
along with my debilitating fear of focus led to an astringent waste of time. I
got nothing done.
~Hooray~

Aside from lethargy, my personal boundaries with other people are being
put into question. You can never truly know someone, or how they really
feel about you, so someone you may see as a good friend may see you as
the center of their world, or vice versa. It’s bad enough to wear your heart
on your sleeve, but to have these strong emotions put up for a beating takes
courage to get through. Some people are just those that could care less about
your feelings, and making bonds with those kinds of people is a long process
likely unworthy of your time. You can’t spend your life trying to impress
someone who doesn’t care for the outcome.

Some things that had brightened my week a bit were my evident growths in my
artwork. Inktober proves as a milestone for me, as the improvement is
earth-shattering to think about! The complexity of my art right now is something
I would’ve dreamed of a year prior, and I have my friends, influences and time to
thank for that. People always say “I wish I could draw like that” when in reality, if
they had tried and practiced they’d get there eventually. I applaud my friends who
are up-and-coming artists and I hope they don’t quit. If you believe I’m talking
about you, good luck.

The links of interest this week are of how children’s media online has evolved
to bear a nightmarish complexion. Two videos about this topic; one from Night Mind-
a good source for spooky content, and one from TED.